Texas is one of my favorite cities in states. I can’t tell exactly why, part of it because of my affection for cow boys, part of it because of its attitude, seems like confident and some times even arrogant, part of it because of its big size, everything there are so big.
I believe there would be huge amount of passion goes on there, and I always dream to travel there some time in my life.
Before I go, I need to collect some knowledge about this place and plan what I expected to see.
In the winter quarter, I choose the course of Dynamic Entrepreneurial Strategy, and find that actually, the class material could also be used in changing my life style. Incremental change vs disruptive change is a big topic,
So from my original high school to college life style, I never think of the life I am leading, which means literally, I am living my life unconsciously. It has disastrous effect on me. I am not even thinking and not even change.
Leading a life from high school to college may be not that different, but a life from a student to a researcher, to an adult is quite different. You never have a class schedule to organize your life. you never have a mentor, which is paying attention to your progress. You never have peers who is doing exactly the same thing so you can compare and learn. Now I am totally independent, and I need to find a way to live with it.
To be honest, I am trained to be a student, but not adapted to the adult lifestyle. many times, I am desperate for orders, for routines and for mentors. But it should be change. I never clearly pay attention to the life’s change and make conscious plan to adapt for it. It is simply not the right thing to do. I need a plan now.
the first thing I need to do is
1. find out what I really want to do and enjoy the process. work & life balance is the biggest lie in 21 century, because it will never be true. if you are having a balanced life, I would say 90% is because your work is so easy and low paid…..
If you ever want to accomplish something, it needs a lot of time. I don’t have to be know everything guy, but I need to be expertise in some field,and it doesn’t come easy..
2. focus on the process but not the result. if the process is not enjoyable, it is not worth all your time . remember that , life is way too short. I just have at most 80 years, and the last few years, my body is not going to do what I want it . so seize the time.
3. feel energetic, treat yourself better. You are what you believe you are!!!! if you believe yourself to be a winner, you will eventually get there, if you believe you are a loser, it will also lead you there. so believe you are good, and fight for it~
4 move your body. physically and mentally, body and mind, they need to be in the same tune, don’t leave out one with another.
5 look in the positive side, don’t feel pity on yourself. I can’t image why I need to be worried or what can possibly make me sad because I have a very good life
6 put everything in routine, We all know that success is always a matter of habit, so get routine of everything is super important.
7 cut out the all the distractions, focusing is the ability that counts all.
8 be polite to anyone in the world. everyone deserves respect, no matter who he is and what he has done. Treating others according to your judgement and moods is simply unfair.
9 leave out all the internet entertainment. THEY JUST MAKES YOU FEEL WORSE
10 don’t be shame, don’t be shy, YOU treat yourself as an important one, so will others.
live everyday as your last one, and enjoy
She is in the same year as me, first met her during the EE orientation. very good looking girl with a nice name tiffany.
most people would think of pretty girls are almost dump, and cares nothing except shopping, makeup, shoes, handbag ect. but it is not the case for her. She has quite a taste, good at photographing, enjoying research , travelling ,food etc.
Maybe you will think if a woman is too perfect, then she will end up being alone, at least terrifying lots of not so good men chasing. However, it is also not the truth here. She recently got engaged, after a long and happy relationship. Ps: her finance is both handsome and smart. What a wonderful couple….. jealous. sometimes, I can’t hide my jealous in this way. Everytime, my friends met her, they will whisper like” tiffany tiffany” .
overall, so happy about her. The good always stand out, the excellent always enjoy all. if you can’t , don’t complain about the environment, just complain about yourself. Must be something wrong about yourself.
又一个quarter结束了，太痛苦了，
但这些痛苦都是因我而起，没有人叫你选 这么多课
没有人教你选了课可以不上课
没有人教你不上课还可以不看书。。
没有人教你不看书还乱写作业。。
到最后，哭的一塌糊涂的。。。这回不挂也是惨死了。。
接到朋友的电话，问我考完了没有，我连接的勇气都没有了， 实在太丢脸了。。
失眼，也是另一个问题，这quarter就是一直失眠，从来没有好过, 躺在床上是一直也睡不着，怎么也睡不着
不知道是出了什么问题，我想是压力太大了吧，
也是饮食的问题，吃的不太健康，所以整个人根本没有什么活力，每天起床都是没有任何的motivation
试了好多次，再怎么样的书，再怎么样推崇的办法，在我身上都根本没有效果，
我想是我本身的问题，我的问题，我最知道，
我是想要太多的东西了，想要各种能力都好，结果什么都抓不到，不如放了自己
就专心在几件事情上，把几件事情做完就好，
哭了一天，注销了人人，
写了note放在桌上时时提醒自己
down了workout video，每天至少30分钟的workout
不要跟人再接触了，试着远离人群，给自己一点时间或者空间就行了。。。
2013, 第 三年 spring quarter结束
单身，朋友都是已婚人士
住在小apartment, broken english, bad personality
addicted to alcohol, addicted to coffee & coke
addicted to soap dramma
lost connection with family and old friend
but She is still with hope
and deep down in her heart, she knows she is a good person, just try to make the best of anything,
I believe , she will get her strength, get her confidence, and get her smile back soon
I still believe in myself,
Though the quarter hasn’t ended, it’s almost done for me. I don’t have any comment, though I think I have tried my best, the result is not so satisfying to my colleges, my adviser, my friends, but it is pretty good for me.
My lab mate judged me only by the result, so her comment is ” you haven’t done anything”
and when I want to justify for myself, she said ” be humble to listen to others’ advise”
it makes me speechless. I don’t like her methodology of doing things, the only way they use to do research is .
fit the data and then justify for their fitted line.
what the hell is that?? no any theoretical reasoning, I don’t believe because others are using that ,so we can use that. Is that an argument? it can be an inspiration ,but far away from the argument.
the reality is , I , an idealist. have to face those realistic people, and I have to gain their support, financially and technically, otherwise, I would be fired.
So, I have to compromise. because I don’t have any power, I have to learn the politics of how to make your employee happy, listen to his order, no mater how stupid it sounds .
and when I am ready, I can go on another journey.
Welcome to ME 