what we get from theory VS what we get from real data

as a super theorist , I like to think everything into math formula and then do all the derivation. However, engineer as my job, it gives me few freedom to get rid of reality.

It is harsh in some sense. because I have to get rid of the beautiful concepts I have got and fit myself into reality. However, it is what we should do. 

I have thought about doing some  research job after my graduation. One most appealing reason is doing research provide me with a heaven so I do not need to think about the truth. However, it also derives me all the opportunities to get in touch with real person in the world. How to balance those two is a challenging problem for me.

Get approval from others is hard.  if you want to pass something into society, you should fit into those models.  People have certain standards of judging things. after that , we can talk about it.

 

Now, time is approaching when I have to graduate, I have to collect myself for being judged by others. It is time for me to develop some traits to be lovable, to be considered good, to be liked by others, it is a tough task since I haven’t down for a while.

 

Now it is time to get approval.

 

TV: my love from the stars


Ok, this is the most popular show across asian right now, I scanned it just using several hours. Though I am definitely not a big fan of korean drama, after I graduate from college. the reason for watching is just purely from curiosity. Why is it so popular now?

I have to say it is a good show, drama as its name suggests, is a drama. You shouldn’t judge it from how truthful the story line is, it is a merely fiction, providing people some escape from reality,  helping  people to fantasize about wealth and sweet love. However, we should keep our head clear after watching it. It ‘s quite ridiculous to see how the fans waste their time tracking their favorite actors/actresses private life,  buying their idols personal belongs rocked high price. It is just insane.

another thing I am afraid about, is how watching K drama would change women’s idea

would the drama raise the bar of people searching for partner? sure, now the male character has all the wonderful characteristic women ever fancy about. such foolish drama.

Ok, I realize I shouldn’t judge people’s hobby. there is no good or bad hobby,  watching tv is bad, wondering on Internet is bad, but what if someone just can’t stop it?  people should have time to relax and have fun. If korean drama can provide women the things they want, we should be ok with that. but like everything else, overdose could cost problems. addiction may change people’s view on everything else.

How could we determine whether or not this is addictive and we have to abandon it?  I don’t know, maybe this kind of drama should put a tag on it and prevent people from watching it?

we need a long process to go

the difference between big vs small companies

decision making speed is totally different for the size company

facilities provided by the company

attitude toward risks,  insurance, healthcare, however, the small ones don’t

relationship ..

 

downside of working for a big company– not so much visibility so

upside– more training opportunity

 

 

how is working in size company affecting your job switching?

Big company is more specialized ,but small company is more working ability

thinking

 

book read: scarcity

I once heard Sendhil Mullainathan speak at an event in DC, and he was smart and engaging. He’s a MacArthur Foundation genius, a Harvard economist, and a TED speaker. He has a wry sense of humor and tells anecdotes from his personal life to make his economics work come alive. And all of that is in this book, written with his long-time collaborator, Eldar Shafir, who’s a Princeton psychologist.

Still this book was a bit of a disappointment, possibly because I expected so much. A lot of the conclusions are, well, obvious. The book’s entire thesis can be summarized as: “People make bad decisions when they are resource-constrained, whether the resources in question are money, time, food, or something else.” Some of it recaps what has been said before about hyperbolic discounting in economics.

The book’s chapters go like this…

Intro – definition of “scarcity” and overview of its consequences
Chap. 1 – The good: scarcity can cause focus. The bad: focus can mean inattention to other things.
Chap. 2 – Scarcity causes an internal disruption that makes it harder to make good decisions.
Chap. 3 – Slack (the opposite of scarcity) allows better choices and reduces the bad consequences of failiure.
Chap. 4 – Poor people are sometimes more realistic about estimating costs, because they have to be.
Chap. 5 – Borrowing when you’re short of cash leads to a descending spiral of debt.
Chap. 6 & 7 – Poverty is a vicious circle of scarcity leading to bad decisions leading to scarcity…
Chap. 8 – Poverty can be alleviated by creating slack, such as extra cash or day care to create more time.
Chap. 9 – Efficient use of resources and division of labor helps organizations become more efficient.
Chap. 10 – Efficient use of self-control helps with life issues.

On the positive side, the book contains some interesting stories, and a rich set of endnotes to track down the many studies the authors cite. On the negative side, the book keeps talking about how mainstream economics is traditionally (for example, that people are “rational” decision makers), just so the authors can tear down the mainstream view. Economists come across as completely clueless, which maybe they are. Is it really surprising that when you’re poor, hungry, and stressed, that you would make less than rational decisions?

Mullainathan and Shafir seem aware of this problem with the book. Chap. 2 contains some defensive passages about how bad decisions under scarcity are different from bad decisions due to stress. The explanation isn’t compelling, and unlike most of their other claims, that passage doesn’t have lots of studies to back it up.

The most interesting study in the book is one about street vendors in India who are in perpetual debt from a loan-sell-repay cycle (Chap. 6). The researchers give the vendors a cash grant to pay off their debts, which should have allowed them to start saving a little and eventually eliminate the need for borrowing altogether. One by one, though, the vendors fall back into debt. Any non-economist would see this as challenges of personality or habit. It’s the same reason why couch potatos find it hard to get off the couch and exercise everyday. The authors, though, somehow turn this into a story of scarcity. How it was because there wasn’t enough slack. Why don’t they do an experiment where they give everyone a little extra cash to save? They don’t, though, and I’d bet good money that with additional cash, the vendors would still have fallen back into debt eventually. What the vendors need is some training and hand-holding.

This study illustrates one of the biggest problems with the book. In order to make a case for the centrality of scarcity, the authors go too far. Not every bad decision is about scarcity. Sometimes, people are dumb, and sometimes there are dumb people. And sometimes, people are smart, and there are also smart people. At one point, the authors write, “all people, if they were poor, would have less effective bandwidth.” Not sure about that. My grandmother managed seven kids and ran a shop, but she was dirt poor until her children grew up. (less)

Book review : the dip

recently I read the book

the dip ,   a little that

actually, I was planning to do a talk about persistent or coherent scatters for calibration, when I was taking a rest , browing books in the library, I was attracted by this book. It is a very thin book, only 80 pages, well written ,as the title suggested, it’s a little that teaches you when to quit and when to stick.

what amazed and inspired me, is the the first chapters about quit. I don’t know how you guys are thinking,what’s your value system, but it is kind of eye opening for me to hear the warm encouragement for quitting.

at least for me, I have been told times after times from elementary school  until college,  don’t quit, work hard , persistence, there is a chinese proverb, if you keep on, you will success anyway,

However, in this little book, the author uses a lot of real life examples, like very big company fails to argue that sometimes it is ok, even better to quit

Then suddenly, it resonates with me a lot. I remember a lot of conversations I had with my friends. Once  a postdoc in VLF group told me ,if given another chance to start again his ph.d Project, he would finish it in 6 month, but in reality, it takes him more than 6 years. Another friends in CS told me once he accidentally deleted his project which takes him two weeks to write,  but he redid that in just a single day.

and I think, maybe it is the best way to do things.  When you get lost or get stuck,  pull out a white sheet and start again

 

so this talk is based on this assumption. If  I were given another chance, how would I do the project ?

 

 

 

teaches you when to quit and when to stick

book list suggested by others

My Top Picks For General Readers

Moral Tribes: Emotion, Reason, and the Gap Between Us and Them: Joshua Greene
This is the best book about morality I’ve ever read. The first half is a tour of the current science (social science, anthropology, animal studies, brain-imaging, evolutionary theory, etc) that is connected with morality. The second half is a philosophical (and psychological) defense of the moral theory called Utilitarianism. Even if you’re wind up rejecting that theory, you’ll find huge value in this book. The writing is crystal clear, provocative, and laced with humor.

“After two and a half millennia, it’s rare to come across a genuinely new idea on the nature of morality, but in this book Joshua Greene advances not one but several. Greene combines neuroscience with philosophy not as a dilettante but as an expert in both fields, and his synthesis is interdisciplinary in the best sense of using all available conceptual tools to understand a deep phenomenon. Moral Tribes is a landmark in our understanding of morality and the moral sense.” — Stephen Pinker

You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation: Deborah Tannen.
Tannon, a linguist, had the clever idea of framing women and men are two different cultures—and to study their “languages” the way one would study English and French. The book made me think beyond “the battle of the sexes” to the many ways words can both clarify our ideas and befuddle our listeners. This is a great books for couples, writers, actors, and students of human nature.

The Little Schemer – 4th Edition: Daniel P. Friedman, Matthias Felleisen, Duane Bibby, Gerald J. Sussman.
The authors use a Socratic approach to teach a difficult subject: recursion. This is a book you work through with pencil and paper, and, if you work through it, the way it stretches your mind will be more meaningful to you than the subject it teaches. It begins with the simplest of ideas and very gradually ramps up the complexity, until, by the end, your understanding is at a high level. This book is takes teaching and elevates it to a work of art. It’s sort of a computer-programming book, but you don’t need any programming experience to work through it.

From Dawn to Decadence: 500 Years of Western Cultural Life 1500 to the Present: Jacques Barzun.
Barzun tells the entire story of Modern Western History, making a brilliant case that there really is such a thing: that, in a sense, our culture began on its current (and future) course 500 years ago, at the birth of the Reformation. As with the best of this sort of book, it doesn’t matter if you agree or disagree with its premise. It’s value is that it makes a clear statement, one that will prompt you towards a sharp reaction.

A Pattern Language: Towns, Buildings, Construction: Christopher Alexander.
“Brilliant….Here’s how to design or redesign any space you’re living or working in–from metropolis to room. Consider what you want to happen in the space, and then page through this book. Its radically conservative observations will spark, enhance, organize your best ideas, and a wondrous home, workplace, town will result.”–San Francisco Chronicle

This book’s influence has leaked into other fields, notably Computer Science.

The Righteous Mind: Why Good People Are Divided by Politics and Religion: Jonathan Haidt.
Why are Conservatives and Liberals they way they are? Why are they so often at odds? Is it due to Nature or Nurture? This book delves into why we so often argue each other. It explores the core values we live by, both consciously and unconsciously. Check out the author’s TED talks!

Jonathan Haidt: The moral roots of liberals and conservatives | Video on TED.com

Jonathan Haidt: Religion, evolution, and the ecstasy of self-transcendence | Video on TED.com

Evolution for Everyone: How Darwin’s Theory Can Change the Way We Think About Our Lives: David Sloan Wilson.
This is a great companion to “The Selfish Gene,” and it’s a good recommendation for people who are interested in the subject but turned off by Dawkins.

“Evolution for Everyone is a remarkable contribution. No other author has managed to combine mastery of the subject with such a clear and interesting explanation of what it all means for human self-understanding. Aimed at the general reader, yet peppered with ideas original enough to engage scholars, it is truly a book for our time. “—Edward O. Wilson, Pulitzer Prize-winning author of On Human Nature

The Master Switch: The Rise and Fall of Information Empires: Tim Wu.
This book puts the Internet, and, more specifically, the forces that control it, in a historical context. Rather than seeing the web as a unique and new thing, Wu considers it along with the telegraph, radio, telephone, and television networks. His book is a good general history of communication networks.

Games People Play: The Basic Handbook of Transactional Analysis: Eric Berne.
The three people in the world who are still believers in Transactional Analysis will be upset by the following claim: it’s a “toy psychology.” As far as I’m concerned, it’s an oversimplified model of how humans work. And that’s its strength. It’s a kind of “Humans for Dummies.” It’s a marvelous books for fiction writers and actors, and even though it’s an oversimplified model, it contains many grains of truth. Berne thought of all human interactions as games with winners and losers. And the book is a compendium of those games.

How to Solve It: G. Polya.
If you ever have to solve problems (of any type), it’s worth reading this book.

“Every prospective teacher should read it. In particular, graduate students will find it invaluable. The traditional mathematics professor who reads a paper before one of the Mathematical Societies might also learn something from the book: ‘He writes a, he says b, he means c; but it should be d.’ “–E. T. Bell, Mathematical Monthly

“[This] elementary textbook on heuristic reasoning, shows anew how keen its author is on questions of method and the formulation of methodological principles. Exposition and illustrative material are of a disarmingly elementary character, but very carefully thought out and selected.”–Herman Weyl, Mathematical Review

What Is the Name of This Book?: The Riddle of Dracula and Other Logical Puzzles: Raymond M. Smullyan.
Smullyan wrote many puzzle books, and I picked this one pretty much at random. When I was a kid, I worked through all of them, and it was as if I could feel my brain growing. Here’s an example to give you a taste:

Dr. Tarr is a psychologist with the Department of Health. Her job is to inspect asylums to determine whether they are in compliance with the law. Asylums have Doctors and Patients. In a compliant asylum, all the doctors are sane and all the patients are insane. Clearly, an asylum with an insane doctor or a sane patient is Not A Good Thing.

Sane persons are correct in all of their beliefs. Insane persons are incorrect in all of their beliefs. Both sane and insane persons are scrupulously honest: they always state what they believe to be the case. Unfortunately, the asylums are very modern and do not use identifying devices such as uniforms, ID tags, or other devices to show which persons are doctors and which are patients. Nor is it possible to know whether a person is sane or insane by any means other than questioning them.

One day, after inspecting a number of asylums, Dr. Tarr was having a drink and cigar with her good friend Professor Feather. The professor found her work interesting and asked her to recount some of her findings.

“Well,” said Dr. Tarr, “at the first asylum I visited, I met an inhabitant who made a single statement. I immediately took steps to have them released.”

“Wait,” interjected the professor, “so you’re saying this person was not an insane patient?”

“Of course,” replied Dr. Tarr.

Professor Feather thought for a moment, then asked “How is that possible? This sounds like the old Liar and Truth Teller puzzle. This person either told the truth or they lied. But there are four possibilities for any person in an asylum: Sane Doctor, Insane Patient, Insane Doctor, or Sane Patient.

“Even if you knew whether they were lying or telling the truth, that would only narrow the matter down to two possibilities. For example, if they told a truth such as ‘two plus two equals four’, you would know that they were Sane. But how would you know that they were a Patient, not a Doctor?”

Dr. Tarr replied with a chuckle “I agree that I could not have deduced what to do based on an inhabitant saying ‘two plus two equals four’. But in this case, the patient was quite intelligent and thought of a single statement which could establish the fact that only a Sane Patient could make that statement.

“I’m sure if you think about it, you could construct such a statement. Name a statement which could only be uttered by a Sane Patient.”

— A Few Easy Ones from Raymond Smullyan.

The Ghost Map: The Story of London’s Most Terrifying Epidemic–and How It Changed Science, Cities, and the Modern World: Steven Johnson.

This is one of the most entertaining History books I’ve ever read, but it goes beyond that. As it explores the biases that keep smart people from understanding “obvious” truths, it delves into Psychology and even Philosophy.

Metaphors We Live By: George Lakoff, Mark Johnson.
This book explores a fascinating thesis about how we think. The authors believe that metaphor is a core part of human cognition and that our writing, speech, and ideas are laced with metaphors and metaphorical frameworks we often fail to notice. It’s terrific food for thought, whether you wind up agreeing or disagreeing.

The Hero with a Thousand Faces: Joseph Campbell.
“Campbell’s words carry extraordinary weight, not only among scholars but among a wide range of other people who find his search down mythological pathways relevant to their lives today….The book for which he is most famous, The Hero with a Thousand Faces [is] a brilliant examination, through ancient hero myths, of man’s eternal struggle for identity.” — Time

Mind Children: The Future of Robot and Human Intelligence: Hans Moravec.
One would be making a mistake to let Mind Children recede unopened into a guiltless oblivion. It’s a tonic book, thought-provoking on every page. And it reminds us that, in our accelerating, headlong era, the future presses so close upon us that those who ignore it inhabit not the present but the past.
–Brad Leithauser (New Yorker )

Moravec, by his own admission, is an intellectual joyrider, and riding his runaway trains of thought is an exhilarating experience…This is an intellectual party that shouldn’t be pooped, no matter how much it may disturb the neighbours and encourage over-indulgence.
–Brian Woolley (Guardian )

In the Blink of an Eye Revised 2nd Edition: Walter Murch.
This book, by one of Hollywood’s greatest editors, goes beyond explaining a single craft. It’s a door into the brain of a brilliant technician and problem solver, and many pages of it gifted me new ways of thinking, even though I’m not an editor. For instance, Murch came up with the simple (but genius) idea of taping two tiny, cut-out paper people to the bottom of his monitor. They continually remind him of the scale at which people will see movie images when they are in the theatre.

The Age of Insight: The Quest to Understand the Unconscious in Art, Mind, and Brain, from Vienna 1900 to the Present: Eric Kandel.

This is an Art History/Criticism book written by a neuroscientist.

“Eric Kandel has succeeded in a brilliant synthesis that would have delighted and fascinated Freud: Using Viennese culture of the twentieth century as a lens, he examines the intersections of psychology, neuroscience, and art. The Age of Insight is a tour-de-force that sets the stage for a twenty-first-century understanding of the human mind in all its richness and diversity.”
—Oliver Sacks, author of The Mind’s Eye and The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat

“In a polymathic performance, a Nobel laureate weaves together the theories and practices of neuroscience, art and psychology to show how our creative brains perceive and engage art—and are consequently moved by it. . . . A transformative work that joins the hands of Art and Science and makes them acknowledge their close kinship.”
—Kirkus Reviews (STARRED)

“Engrossing … Nobel-winning neuroscientist Kandel excavates the hidden workings of the creative mind. Kandel writes perceptively about a range of topics, from art history—the book’s color reproductions alone make it a great browse—to dyslexia. … Kandel captures the reader’s imagination with intriguing historical syntheses and fascinating scientific insights into how we see—and feel—the world.”
—Publisher’s Weekly

“A fascinating meditation on the interplay among art, psychology and brain science. The author, who fled Vienna as a child, has remained captivated by Austrian artists Gustav Klimt, Oskar Kokoschka and Egon Schiele, each of whom was profoundly influenced by Sigmund Freud and by the emerging scientific approach to medicine in their day … [calls] for a new, interdisciplinary approach to understanding the mind, one that combines the humanities with the natural and social sciences.”
—Scientific American

“Eric Kandel’s book is a stunning achievement, remarkable for its scientific, artistic, and historical insights. No one else could have written this book—all its readers will be amply rewarded.”
—Howard Gardner, Hobbs Professor of Cognition and Education, Harvard Graduate School of Education

“Eric Kandel’s training as a psychiatrist and his vast knowledge of how the brain works enrich this thoroughly original exploration of the relationship between the birth of psychoanalysis, Austrian Expressionism, and Modernism in Vienna.”
—Margaret Livingstone, Professor of Neurobiology, Harvard Medical School

“This is the book that Charles Darwin would have produced, had he chosen to write about art and aesthetics. Kandel, one of the great pioneers of modern neuroscience, has effectively bridged the ‘two cultures’—science and humanities. This is a task that many philosophers, especially those called ‘new mysterians,’ had considered impossible.”
—V. S. Ramachandran, author of The Tell-Tale Brain

Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships: Christopher Ryan, Cacilda Jetha.
If you want to grapple with understanding human sexuality, I recommend you read this book and its criticism: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex…

 

Education

How Children Fail: John Holt.

A better title might be “How Teachers Fail.” When I was in my teens and first starting to grapple with problems in Education, this book opened my eyes. It started me thinking in ways that had never occurred to me before.

Wounded by School: Recapturing the Joy in Learning and Standing Up to Old School Culture: Kirsten Olson.

Kirsten Olson’s book is refreshingly unlike the general run of sludge I associate with writing about pedagogy: It seems to be entirely free of the familiar platitudes which replace thought when we read about school matters, is scrubbed clean of pretentious jargon, and offers up the twists and turns of Olson’s analysis and citations with beautiful clarity. I can’t imagine anyone not being better for reading this book Twice! –John Taylor Gatto, Author, Dumbing Us Down

Summerhill School: A New View of Childhood: A. S. Neill, Albert Lamb.

This book will challenge your ideas about education, whether you wind up agreeing with it or raging against it. While I was suffering through a traditional American public high school, this book showed me there were other possibilities, which both fascinated and depressed me. I longed to go to Summerhill.

Mindstorms: Children, Computers, And Powerful Ideas: Seymour A. Papert.

“This is the best book I have ever read on how to assist people to learn for themselves. Papert began his work by collaborating with Jean Piaget, and then applied those perspectives in a self-programming language designed to help children learn math and physics.

Papert explains Piaget’s work and provides case studies of how the programming language, LOGO, can help. He provides a wonderful contrasting explanation of the weaknesses of how math and physics are usually taught in schools.” — from an Amazon reader review.

See also Impro: Improvisation and the Theatre: Keith Johnstone, below (in the theatre section).

Writing

In my view, despite frequent references to “Elements of Style” and Stephen King’s “On Writing,” there are few good books on how to write. Most of what learned was either by reading and imitation or from short essays, such as Orwell’s Politics and the English Language and Twain’s “Finmore Cooper’s Literary Offenses”:http://www.gutenberg.org/files/3….

I’ve tried to list most of my core beliefs about writing, here: Marcus Geduld’s answer to Writing: What should everyone know about writing?

These two books (really three, since the first is a collection of two books) stand out. The first …

Hat Box: The Collected Lyrics of Stephen Sondheim: Stephen Sondheim.

… is a thorough analysis of Sondheim’s lyrics—by Sondheim. In case you don’t know who he is, he’s the generally-acknowledge “greatest muscial-theatre composer/lyricist of all time.” His shows include “Sweeney Todd,” “A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum”, and “West Side Story” (lyrics only). What sets his books apart is the care he takes over evert single word and the lucid explanations with which he explains his choices. Read these books even if you’re a non-lyricist.

Clear and Simple as the Truth: Francis-Noël Thomas, Mark Turner.

Though somewhat dry, this is the only book I know of that clearly explains how to write in a very specific style. And it’s kind-of the ur-style: the one I’d argue all writers should master before going on to anything more complicated. It’s what “Elements of Style” should be but isn’t.

Theatre

A Practical Handbook for the Actor: Melissa Bruder, Lee Michael Cohn, Madeleine Olnek, Nathaniel Pollack, Robert Previtio, Scott Zigler, David Mamet.

This is the best introduction I’ve ever read to Stanislavsky-based acting. (SeeConstantin Stanislavski). I think of it as book one in a three-book trilogy. (Composed of this book and the next two in my list.)

It helps actors avoid playing murky emotional states and become active on stage. Its core approach is to have actors choose goals for each moment they are on stage.

If you know someone who is thinking of becoming an actor, get him this book.

The Actor and the Target: Declan Donnellan.

This book (part two of my ad-hoc trilogy) delves into one specific aspect of Stanislavsky-based acting: the person (the other actor) or object you’re trying to affect when you’re on stage. As a director, I find motivating actors towards targets tremendously useful. For instance, if an actor is trying to “be sexy” I ask him to stop and, instead, to try to get the actress (the target) to kiss him.

How to Stop Acting: Harold Guskin.

In my mind, there’s tremendous value in Stanislavky’s system, which forms the basis of the first two books on this list. But in the end, most actors need to let all frameworks go, stop thinking about them, and just improvise. They must “be in the moment.”

This is the best treatment I’ve found of this slippery subject. Guskin was the acting coach to James Gandalfini, Kevin, Kline, Glenn Close and many other famous actors.

Different Every Night: Putting the play on stage and keeping it fresh: Mike Alfreds.

This book clearly explores what to me is the core difference between theatre and film. Filmmakers must sweat to get the best performance possible onto film. Theatre practitioners should, if they’re smart, create an environment where there is no “best.” Great theatre should be different every night (or why not see a film, instead?). Each actor in each performance should try something new, and all the performances, taken together, should explore every avenue of the story, every possible interpretation.

Notes on Directing: 130 Lessons in Leadership from the Director’s Chair: Frank Hauser, Russell Reich.

The ideas behind directing are very, very simple: watch and listen; avoid doing anything most of the time; step in with a suggestion when necessary. But, boy oh boy, is it hard to put these simple procedures into practice! Most directors do too much. Or they focus on the wrong things. I read this smart little book before every rehearsal period.

Impro: Improvisation and the Theatre: Keith Johnstone.

Impro ought to be required reading not only for theatre people generally but also for teachers, educators, and students of all kinds and persuasions. Readers of this book are not going to agree with everything in it; but if they are not challenged by it, if they do not ultimately succumb to its wisdom and whimsicality, they are in a very sad state indeed . . . .Johnstone seeks to liberate the imagination, to cultivate in the adult the creative power of the child . . . .Deserves to be widely read and tested in the classroom and rehearsal hall . . . Full of excellent good sense, actual observations and inspired assertions.
–CHOICE: Books for College Libraries

 

Shakespeare

Thinking Shakespeare: A How-to Guide for Student Actors, Directors, and Anyone Else Who Wants to Feel More Comfortable With the Bard: Barry Edelstein.

This is the only worthwhile Shakespeare book I’ve ever found for beginning actors, and seasoned actors who are new to Shakespeare. Even pros will probably learn something from it. And it’s a cool book for Shakespeare fans, too, who want to learn how to read the plays better and who want an understanding of how Shakespeare’s approach it.

Hamlet in Purgatory: Stephen Greenblatt.

“Hamlet” has a bewildering and brilliant relationship to Religion, and this is the best book on the subject.

Hamlet and Revenge: Eleanor Prosser.

Elizabethan morality considered revenge to be a great sin. So how is it possible that Shakespeare’s audience considered Hamlet a hero? This is one of the most eye-opening pieces of dramaturgy I’ve read. I discuss it, here: Marcus Geduld’s answer to Hamlet (play): In Hamlet, what does the phrase “slings and arrows of outrageous fortune” mean?

Pick this up used if you can. It’s expensive new.

Shakespeare’s Metrical Art: George T. Wright.

If you want to understand what Shakespeare was doing poetically, this is the bible. If you’re new to blank verse, I recommend your read “Thinking Shakespeare” before tackling this.

I delve into lots of other Shakespearean issues, here: Directing “Hamlet”.

Fiction

I gobble down fiction, so if this question was “What are some great novels?” I could list hundreds of books. Ones that would definitely make the list are “Sense and Sensibility,” “Pride and Prejudice,” “Emma,” “Wuthering Heights,” “House of Mirth”, “One Hundred Years of Solitude,” “Watership Down,” “Cat’s Eye”, “Bleak House,” “Lonesome Dove,” “Catcher in the Rye,” “The Queen’s Gambit,” and … well, I could go on and on.

While all great novels expand my mind, I’ve included two, below, that did so via formal experimentation. In general, I hate experimental novels. Most of them are Sophomoric: “What if the author was a character in his own work? What if the characters knew the were living in a work of fiction? Like, wow men! Cool!”

Here are two exceptions:

1Q84: Haruki Murakami, Jay Rubin, Philip ­Gabriel.

War and Peace: Leo Tolstoy.

And this, to me and many others, is the greatest novel of all time:

The Great Gatsby: F. Scott Fitzgerald.

I’ve read it over a hundred times and it still keeps giving. Several famous writers, like Hemmingway, copied it out by hand, so that they could study each sentence. I’ve often thought of doing the same thing. Here’s a lesson I learned from just one of Fitzgerald’s sentences: Post by Marcus Geduld on Words! Words! Words!

UPDATE: Someone recently PMed me, asking me to recommend two fiction and two non-fiction books to him. What follows is my reply, in which I cheated and recommend more. It’s interesting to compare the following list with the one above, and see how some books have a stable placement in the front of my mind while others shift. 

As a lifelong reader, it’s almost impossible for me to pick four books without doing so at random, but I’ll try, as long as you understand these aren’t my four favorites. They’re just four books that are meaningful to me chosen somewhat arbitrarily.

I’m going pick books that I first read at least five years ago, because I want to give you recommendations that haven’t just temporarily dazzled me. Otherwise, I’d suggest

“Thinking, Fast and Slow” by Daniel Kahneman
Amazon: Thinking, Fast and Slow

and

“Antifragile” by Nassim Nicholas Taleb
Amazon: Antifragile: Things That Gain from Disorder

which both struck me as deeply profound and deeply useful. But they’re too recent to be “canonized” in my mind.

Finally, my favorite novel is

“The Great Gatsby” by F. Scott Fitzgerald
Amazon: The Great Gatsby

but I won’t list it, because it’s on so many great-works list. It’s probably more helpful for me to suggest books you’re less-likely to have heard about.

Non-fiction:
– “The Ghost Map: The Story of London’s Most Terrifying Epidemic–and How It Changed Science, Cities, and the Modern World,” by Steven Johnson, is a book about one event in history (and a fascinating one), but it manages to delve into deep matters of philosophy, science, and psychology, too. It’s very exciting and readable, like a “page-turner” novel.
Amazon: The Ghost Map

– “From Dawn to Decadence: 500 Years of Western Cultural Life 1500 to the Present,” by Jacques Barzun. The best modern-Western history I’ve ever read.
Amazon: From Dawn to Decadence

Fiction:
– “Lonesome Dove,” by Larry McMurtry, is, to me, a Great American Novel. It belongs on shelves next to “The Great Gatsby,” “Moby Dick,” and “The Scarlet Letter.” It’s a quest story, similar in that sense to “Lord of the Rings,” but its setting is the American West in 1876.
Amazon: Lonesome Dove

– “Cat’s Eye,” by Margaret Atwood, is one of the most brutally-honest stories about childhood ever written. It’s “Lord of the Flies” without the the island. And it’s about little girls instead of little boys.
Amazon:  Cat’s Eye: Margaret Atwood

Here are some other books I love:

Fiction:

– “One Hundred Years of Solitude,” by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. Magic Realism. Maybe the best fantasy novel ever written. Marquez creates an absolutely unique world that runs via its own surreal logic. You emerge from it a different person. The English translation is gorgeous.
Amazon: One Hundred Years of Solitude

– “1Q84,” by Haruki Murakami is the Japanese “One Hundred Year of Solitude.” It’s worth reading both of them, to understand what fiction can do and where it can go—and how it can play by its own rules.
Amazon: 1Q84

– “House of Mirth,” by Edith Wharton. A fantastic portrait of 19th-Century New York and a young woman who has to maneuver in that complex, suffocating society.
Amazon: The House of Mirth

– “The Queens Gambit,” by Walter Tevis is simply a perfect tale. It’s like a masterclass on how to write a honed but unpretentious novel. It’s about a child chess prodigy. Tevis isn’t a well-known guy, but many people are aware of his novels via their film adaptations. These include “The Man Who Fell to Earth,” “The Hustler,” and “The Color of Money.”
Amazon: The Queen’s Gambit: A Novel

– “This Perfect Day,” by Ira Levin is, in my mind, the best dystopia ever written. Few agree with me, because its politics are naive compared to books like “1984” (which I also love). But Levin isn’t playing politics. Nor is he doing social criticism. He’s weaving a yarn, and his spare prose and world-building do just that with immense confidence. I’d say it’s one of the best sci-fi books of all time. Levin’s mystery “A Kiss Before Dying” is also terrific. Don’t watch either of the movie versions.
Amazon: This Perfect Day

– “Amy and Isabelle,” by Elizabeth Strout is the best story about a mother/daughter relationship I’ve ever read.
Amazon: Amy and Isabelle

– “The Box of Delights,” by John Masefield is my favorite children’s fantasy novel. Though not nearly as well-known as “The Hobbit” or the Narnia books, for my taste it’s superior.
Amazon: The Box of Delights

Other novels I love include “Wuthering Heights” by Emily Bronte; “The Time Machine” and “The Island of Dr. Moreau” by H.G. Wells; “Emma,” “Sense and Sensibility,” and “Pride and Prejudice” by Jane Austen; pretty much any Jeeves book by P.G. Wodehouse; “Bleak House” by Charles Dickens; “Plain Song” by Ken Haruf; “Huckleberry Finn” by Mark Twain; “War and Peace” by Leo Tolstoy; “Catcher in the Rye” by J.D. Salinger; “To Kill a Mockingbird” by Harper Lee; and “Secret History” by Donna Tartt.

Non-fiction:

– “Godel, Escher, Bach,” and “Fluid Concepts and Creative Analogies,” by Douglas Hoffstadter, two of the most thought-provoking books I’ve read about the human mind and artificial intelligence.
Amazon: Gödel, Escher, Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid
Amazon: Fluid Concepts And Creative Analogies

– “Shadow Divers,” by Robert Kurson is the most exciting non-fiction book I’ve ever read. It’s about deep-sea divers, a subject that (prior to reading this book) didn’t interest me in the slightest.
Amazon: Shadow Divers

– “The Botany of Desire,” by Michael Pollan is about the symbiotic way humans live with plants. Pollan is better known for “The Omnivore’s Dilemma,” which is fantastic, but, for my money, not quite as much the masterpiece as this earlier book.
Amazon: The Botany of Desire

– “Against Joie De Vivre” and “Being With Children,” by Phillip Lopate. Lopate is the best personal essayist of the 20th Century and one of the best of all times.
Amazon: Against Joie de Vivre
Amazon: Being with Children

– Essays by George Orwell. I love all of Orwell’s writing, but I find his essays—especially “Shooting an Elephant” and “Such, Such Were the Joys” to be the best of his writing.
Amazon: Essays 
Free, online: http://gutenberg.net.au/ebooks03/0300011h.html

– “How Children Fail,” by John Holt; “Summerhill School,” by A.S. Neal; “A Mathematician’s Lament” by Paul Lockhart; and the much more recent “Wounded by School,” by Kristin Olson, were all deeply important to forming and informing my ideas about education.
Amazon: How Children Fail
Amazon: A Mathematician’s Lament
Free online (shorter) version (pdf): http://mysite.science.uottawa.ca…
Amazon: Summerhill School
Amazon: Wounded by School

– “The Little Schemer,” by Daniel Friedman and Matthias Felleisen, is the only computer-programming book I’ve read that’s a work of art. (Really it’s a puzzle book, since one doesn’t need to use a computer to work through it. It explores the subject of recursion.)
Amazon: The Little Schemer 

– “In the Blink of an Eye” by Walter Murch, about the art of film editing.
Amazon: In the Blink of an Eye

book list to be read for some time later

A must read for everyone: The Beginning of Infinity by David Deutsch, which solves the question of all questions, how we can know what we know. The book draws out the implications of this idea for ethics, politics, and aesthetics, while also discussing maths, physics, and AI. All of this is written so clearly that you will find yourself understanding things which you can’t believe you ever failed to understand.

Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman has been mentioned a few times and is definitely worth reading to realise that we humans aren’t as rational as we think we are. For the opposing viewpoint, you may want to check out Ecological Rationality by Gerd Gigerenzer, which contains papers discussing the importance and even comparative advantage of fast and frugal heuristics.

While we’re on psychology, The Stuff of Thought by Steven Pinker is a great read as well. It explains how the way we use language sheds light on the workings of our minds, and consequently our social relations as well.

This Will Make You Smarter by John Brockman contains short essays from top intellectuals around the world on important concepts. They are all available to read online here: WHAT SCIENTIFIC CONCEPT WOULD IMPROVE EVERYBODY’S COGNITIVE TOOLKIT?

In the same vein is Daniel Dennett‘s latest, Intuition Pumps And Other Tools for Thinking, where Uncle Dan outlines some general thinking tools, and then a guided tour through his philosophical career with tools for thinking about meaning, evolution, consciousness, and free will.

For a quick survey of philosophical problems, check out Just the Arguments byMichael Bruce and Steven Barbone, which contains 100 arguments in the areas of religion, metaphysics, epistemology, ethics, mind, science, and language. Of course, it helps to have a good foundation in logical thinking, so if you’re unsure check out some introductory guides to logic. A good catalogue of fallacies is How to Win Every Argument by Madsen Pirie, although you could just as well plough through the Wikipedia List of fallacies.

If you would like to further explore the development of Western philosophical thought,Bertrand Russell‘s classic History of Western Philosophy is not a bad place to begin. For the other side of the story, check out The Truth About Everything byMatthew Stewart, appropriately subtitled An Irreverent History of Philosophy, in which pretty much every philosopher in history is cast as a villain because they were seduced by metaphysical speculation. If that leads you to wonder what role metaphysics can play in our thought, read Everything Must Go by James Ladyman and Don Ross, which deals with the appropriate metaphysics for a scientific, naturalistic worldview.

So what are the things that reason can never tell us about? Check out The Outer Limits of Reason by Noson Yanofsky for a guided tour through paradoxes and insoluble problems in logic, mathematics, and science.

Quite a few books by Nassim Taleb have already been mentioned, and I would just like to add his latest work Antifragile to the list, as it gives us a new way of thinking about and acting in the face of uncertainty in a whole range of domains. And if you want to know what can and cannot be forecasted and how to go about it, read The Signal and the Noise by Nate Silver.

A classic that is still relevant today is Metamagical Themas by Douglas Hofstadter. The book discusses almost everything, including alphabets, sentences, language, nonsense, art, mathematics, Rubik’s cubes, programming, cognitive science, law, and game theory. Everything is tied together by the theme of self-reference and reflexivity, making this a great book for learning to see the connections between seemingly unrelated things in the world.

If on a winter’s night, a traveller by Italo Calvino is a truly mind-expanding work of fiction. The protagonist’s reading is interrupted after the first chapter by a printing mistake, and attempting to replace the book at the bookstore leaves him with another book. But he will not get past the first chapter of that either… This book is a work of genius examining the processes of reading and writing, and the people involved in both. The prose is beautiful and perfectly suited to the task, reading at times almost like a conversation with the author. But the true conversation when reading this book will be with yourself, within your own head. If mind-expanding is what you’re looking for in your fiction, you will find no better.

fear is most dangerous than evil

Fear is more dangerous than evil
CS 140, 1/18/2013
From a lecture by Professor John Ousterhout.

Last week’s thought for the weekend was, a little bit of slope makes up for a lot of y-intercept.  This week’s thought for the week is, fear is more dangerous than evil.

First of all, maybe I’m an optimist, but I think there aren’t many truly evil people in the world.  Maybe there are some and they get their fair share of publicity.  I think much more damage is caused by people who are afraid.  This is a much bigger problem I think for society in general.

Let me give you an example.  People who are afraid will do things that they know are wrong.  For example, when people cheat on assignments, in most cases, it’s when people are up late the night before an assignment is due and they get desperate and afraid and made a silly decision to steal somebody else’s work.  In industry, CEO’s are afraid to announce that their company had a bad quarter, so they allow their salespeople to report sales from the next quarter.  Then in the next quarter, they have to cheat even more and eventually it all comes tumbling down.

When people are afraid, they often behave irrationally because they’re desperate.  They try things that can’t possibly work but they do anyway because they’re desperate.  That makes them unpredictable and really dangerous to be around.

But at an even simpler level, fear makes people underachieve in all sorts of ways and this may be the biggest problem of all.  For example, people are afraid to try something new, so they get stuck in a rut doing something they know is not right for them.  People might have a really bad relationship or a couple of bad relationships and they become so afraid of having another one and become so distrustful that they can’t form a good relationship anymore.  They are basically damaged by their fear.

Or in another example, people are afraid to look bad.  This is often true about leaders: you think you have to be invincible, that you’re not a good leader if you appear to make a mistake.  So, you never admit a mistake to look strong.  But if you never admit a mistake, then you don’t learn from it.  If you don’t learn from it, you keep making more mistakes, which makes you more afraid, causing you to lie more and more and the whole thing just cycles on itself.  And if you’re a leader, eventually people realize you don’t know what you’re talking about, even though you’re pretending everything’s alright.

Ironically, the people who sound the most confident and arrogant, I think, are often the most afraid.  That arrogance is just a shell they build around their fear underneath.  Furthermore, when really evil things happen, fear is often closely involved.  If you take sociopathic criminals, these people are often motivated by fear, typically the fear of losing control.  They commit violent crimes like murder and rape because that’s the only way they feel they can take and exert control over other people.  It all comes from inner fear.

When evil’s carried out in a really large scale–take your favorite large-scale evil action, most of the work is done by people who are afraid.  You have the evil person at the top who scares all the other people into doing the really nasty stuff.  So it’s the fear that actually did most of the damage.

In general, I think fear is much more pervasive.  It happens at all levels and it damages everyone to some degree.  There are certainly times in my life where I did the wrong thing because I was afraid.  On the other hand, fear does serve a fairly good biological purpose.  Life without fear would probably be fairly short.  An animal is about to attack you or a car is about to hit you and you’re standing on the edge of a cliff–these are good occasions to feel fear.  And I think sometimes fear is unavoidable.  With stage fright, if you’ve never given a talk before, you’re going to feel fear.  Or if you take risks and try new things, it’ll be scary.  But fear, I think, also occurs in many cases that are not constructive and helpful and just damages.

The question is, how are you going to keep fear from damaging your life?  You’re not going to eliminate fear–you might not even want to do that: life is pretty dull if you have no fear at all.  A couple of things to think about:

The first one is the red flag approach.  Ask yourself, am I making a decision out of fear?  The best way you can tell is if you’re running away from something instead of running towards something.  Am I doing something because I’m afraid of something, not in spite of the fear, but because of the fear?  If so, you should think about making changes.  Change the decision or change the situation.  If you’re fighting self constantly, being afraid a car is going to run you over, maybe you should be more careful when you walk out into the street.  Or change yourself.  Figure out how to get yourself in a situation where you’re not going to feel as much fear.  I think the most important thing is to understand, see what is happening.  If you do that, I think you’ll figure out a way to help yourself.

What do you do about fear?  To me, the solution to fear is power.  The opposite of fear is confidence and what gives you confidence is power.  This is the superman kind of power, not the ability to manipulate and control other people, the Stalin kind of power.  The way I think to have a fear-free life is to continually be developing skills so you don’t feel afraid anymore.  My single most important strategy when bringing up our kids was to try and make our kids self-confident by teaching them lots and lots of skills.  If they know how to do a lot of stuff, they’ll be confident and live lives without fear–that’s probably the best way to live a happy life.  So develop your powers.

The third approach is to learn how to harness the fear.  In some cases, it’s inevitable.  For example, with stage fright, I still get scared when I make presentations to a large audience, but I realized that stage fright is an amazing natural drug.  The adrenaline rush when you’re really scared wakes up your whole mind.  I suddenly realize that I’m at my most alert, my best, just after I’m scared out of mind for ten seconds with a burst of adrenaline.  This is an enormous source of power–I have all this adrenaline on my side and I didn’t even have to take a pill.  So learn how to harness it.

Overall, I would say, just don’t let your life be damaged by fear.  And furthermore, not just for yourself, but also for the people around you.  Get them to a place where they’re not afraid and they can work through fear.  My opinion is, if you want a world of peace, you need have a world without fear.

Scar tissue

Scar Tissues Make Relationships Wear Out

CS142, 04/26/2103
From a lecture by Professor John Ousterhout.

This is my most touchy-feely thought for the weekend. Here’s the basic idea: It’s really hard to build relationships that last for a long time. If you haven’t discovered this, you will discover this sooner or later. And it’s hard both for personal relationships and for business relationships. And to me, it’s pretty amazing that two people can stay married for 25 years without killing each other. 

[Laughter]  

But honestly, most professional relationships don’t last anywhere near that long. The best bands always seem to break up after 2 or 3 years. And business partnerships fall apart, and there’s all these problems in these relationships that just don’t last. So, why is that? Well, in my view, it’s relationships don’t fail because there some single catastrophic event to destroy them, although often there is a single catastrophic event around the the end of the relationship, but that’s typically a symptom rather than a cause. What typically happens is it accumulates in the little things that just build up over time, and I call those scar tissues. And the reason I use the phrase “scar tissues” is because scar tissue is when you have a wound that doesn’t heal quite properly and you get this other tissue that just sort of fills the gap, which is called scar tissue, and that tissue is not as strong as the original tissue that was there. So, scar tissue is weak. So, what happens in relationships is that sooner or later, there’s a conflict. It happens in all relationships and not all of them get resolved perfectly. So, now somebody’s left feeling just a little bit unhappy about the result, mostly okay but just a little bit unhappy. But then it happens again… and it happens again in a different situation and no one of these is enough to kill the relationship, but over time that annoyance just builds up more and more and more and more, and then people start seeing patterns in behavior. You know if you ever hear the phrase “You always X”: scar tissue. 

[Laughter] 

So people start becoming sensitive and then they expect the bad behavior and there’s nothing more guaranteed to create bad behavior than expectation. You will find it if you see it. And so eventually it just gets worse and worse and worse and worse, and then somebody decides they just don’t care anymore and typically that’s the point where something spectacular happens and the relationship collapses. And people often think it was the spectacular thing that wrecked the relationship, but really it was all those little bits of scar tissue building up over months or years. And my opinion is that in most of these situations the people aren’t fundamentally bad, though they often appear bad, typically at the spectacular end phase of the relationship. It’s just that the relationship wore off. Just wore off: too much scar tissue. 

So, I’ll give you an example of a relationship of mine that wore off. So, we had our house remodeled a couple years ago. Major remodeling of our kitchen and family room, and the foreman for the contractor, Jim, was in our house for every day for about 4 months during the work on the job. And it started off and things were fine, but then there were just little things that started happening. Like he wouldn’t seal up the plastic around the kitchen, and so, dust would get in to the rest of the house. And most of the work he did was really great, but if he ever made a mistake he wouldn’t want to admit it; he would kinda make excuses to try to avoid fixing his mistake, and this just got more and more annoying for me. And I’m sure I did my share in return because I’m sort of a perfectionist, and I probably noticed every little thing he did that wasn’t absolutely perfect, and it probably drove him crazy that every morning when he came in, I was there standing in the kitchen ready to tell him about all the mistakes he made yesterday [Laughter], and so it just got worse and worse and worse to the point where we were barely on speaking terms at the end of the project, and one day our daughter came in, and she was like, “Dad I think your relationship with Jim is wearing out,” [Laughter]which was when I realized I shouldn’t be telling her my theories about relationships. 

[Big Laughter] 

Now, I could have sat down with Jim to try to work it out, but I decided since it was only a 4 month contracting job, I’ll just put up with it, and you know, it’ll be done in a while. He would have been pretty worried if we sat down and I was like, “Jim, can we talk [Laughter] about my feelings? I mean you left the plastic open and dust got into the house, and sometimes I feel like you don’t respect me as a person.” 

[Laughter] 

Now maybe if I tried that he would instantly change his behavior just to make sure we never, ever had to have a conversation again. [Laughter] So, the solution is if you want a relationship to last a long time, somehow you have to keep the scar tissue from building up. And that’s really hard. So, when there’s an issue, you somehow have to resolve it where there is zero lingering animosity. Nobody is even a little bit upset. Because even a little upset, that scar tissue that accumulates, that never goes away. And that’s really hard to do; I don’t have any perfect answers for that; it’s communication and compromise. Both people need to be willing to listen to understand the other person’s view and then you have to find some compromise where everybody agrees that’s a fair trade off so nobody’s upset. So, that’s really hard, and if either person can’t listen or can’t compromise, the odds are not good long term for that relationship. But there are classic mistakes people make. Like, some people are just too nice, and they wreck the relationships. They think, “Oh, it’s not a big deal, it’s just one little thing, not worth having a big argument about it. I’ll just give in.” Well, that seems generous, but it’s a really bad idea. You have to ask yourself, “Are you really, completely, 100% over this? You’re giving in? No animosity? You’re not secretly hoping that maybe they’ll do something for you in return or a little behavior change here or there?”

 [Laughter]

Because if there’s anything at all when you’re giving in that you can feel bad about later, you’re nuking the relationship – you’re creating scar tissue with yourself, and that will build up to the point where you wreck the relationship. And the flipside is also bad. You may think, “I’m such a good arguer, I can just argue this person to death, and whatever they want I can just outargue them: I’ll yell louder with more words, and I’ll get my way. Whew! That was a great, great resolution, I got my way.” Well, you’re nuking the relationship, sorry. So, somehow both people have to be completely satisfied with the outcome. So, the irony of this is, I think it’s not the big things that nuke relationships it’s all those little things. Even if there’s a big thing, the relationship was going to die really soon anyway. So, just think about your relationship experience and the people around you. How many of you have either had a relationship that wore out like this or you’ve seen somebody around you and you could see their relationship wearing out?

[90% of a 300+ class raises their hands]

Yeah, it happens to everybody and we’ve all been there. And the trick is, again, you just have to avoid the creation of scar tissue. Not easy, but it’s the only solution. Okay, that’s my thought for the weekend 

[Applause]

 

Copy of great thoughts by John Outserhoust

Can you choose your personality?
CS 140, 3/18/2013
From a lecture by Professor John Ousterhout.
 
For today’s thought for the weekend, I thought I’d come full circle and talk about the idea that made me think of doing these thoughts for the weekend in the first place.  The idea I want to close with is, can you choose your own personality?  I propose that both as a question and a challenge to you as students.  Do we actually have any control over our personalities?
 
There’s a pretty good argument that we don’t.  For example, a lot of personalities are undoubtedly genetic in nature and so depend on however the genes mixed up when you were born.  But then for the first part of your life, you’re just not able to control your personality.  You’re being programmed continuously the whole time you’re growing up, by your parents, your friends and the people that are around you.  Everybody subconsciously imitates what they see, so your personality is being programmed and you have no control over that.  I learned that up through high school and maybe even early in college, most people are not well-enough developed to really think about what kind of personality they would like to have.  You’re too busy just trying to become a basic human being, to learn how to understand and manipulate the world around you, that the idea of manipulating your own fundamental essence, who you are and how you feel–you’re just not mature enough to do that.  You just can’t reason it out yourself or step out of yourself and reason it out from the outside.  Many people never acquire that ability their whole lives.  On the other hand, by the time you get to your mid or late twenties, it’s too late.  Most people’s personalities are pretty fixed by then.  For some of you, I’m afraid, it’s already too late–you might already be frozen.  There are probably a few of you who are really lucky: your personalities will remain flexible for thirty or forty more years, until late in your life.  You’re the enviable ones and you’ll be able to do really great things with your personality.  But for most of you, you don’t have much time.  If you’re going to control your personality, it has to happen pretty much right away: you’ve only got a few years to do it.
 
I have no scientific basis for what I’m going to say next, but personally, I like to believe that most people have some control.  […] If I go to Amazon, can I just buy the extravert personality workout video?  Cynicism in twelve easy steps?  Of course, no.  (Actually, there’s probably someone out there who has written such a book […])  The best I can say is, borrow and steal.  Look around you in the people you interact with and when you see someone who has a really interesting, enviable personality characteristic, just take it.  People are really good at emulating, so just find the things around you that you like.  Be constantly thinking, do I like that characteristic and do I want that for myself?  I’ve done that several times in my life–I don’t know if it’s because I grew up without a father figure around to tell me stuff, but there are perhaps half a dozen times in my life when I saw something I really liked and I decided, I’m going to try and be like that.  I probably never did any of those things as good as any of the people I was trying to emulate, but I can say that I did skew myself a little bit.
 
I want to tell you one probably funny story about a situation like this.  When I was a graduate student at Carnegie Mellon University, I was TA’ing one of the intro programming classes and I had a disagreement with the professor about something.  I don’t even remember what it was anymore, but somewhere, I thought he wasn’t being fair to the students in the class.  I was kind of passionate and hot-headed in those days and so I went to tell the professor about it and suggested that we make a change to fix the problem.  He listened very carefully and said, “No, I’m not going to do that.”  That kind of bugged me, so I explained again why this was really important.  He said again, “No, I don’t think I’m going to do that.”  Then, I decided I would resort to some stronger arguments.  I began to insult him and talked about how he wasn’t a very good professor if he didn’t do this–it wasn’t fair to the students.  He was completely unflappable.  He didn’t get mad at me for insulting him, so then I decided I would find out how far I could go with this.  Plus, the harder it was to get him angry, the angrier I was myself.  I became more and more insulting to the professor and yet, it all completely washed off of him.
 
Now, you’re probably thinking, what a mature move: thank you for sharing with us the reasonable person principle in action here.  I think I actually knew the reasonable person principle back then, but I hadn’t quite fully assimilated it.  I just got so mad that I ended up storming out of his office.  I stayed mad–I kept thinking about it and got madder and madder until it suddenly hit me and realized that I needed to be that way.  This is actually an incredibly powerful personality trait, that you don’t take insults: people can’t make you mad.  And so I decided to try and become that way.  Over time, I realized that there’s actually a pretty deep thought behind all of this, which is, an insult isn’t something that happens to you: it’s not like getting hit by lightning or catching the flu or something that you have no control over.  An insult is something you have to agree to.  If you don’t agree to be insulted, nobody can insult you.  And that, to me, was just a really powerful idea.  You think about the world today, where there are so many people who are just desperate to be insulted.  They’re so eager to find something they can take insult with so they can take out some horrible vengeance back on it.  And this idea is that you just don’t have to be insulted.  These days, it’s pretty hard to say things to get me mad.  You just realize, I don’t have to feel insulted–call me whatever you want.  That’s an example from my life.  There are probably other examples that are less juvenile in origin than that one was.
 
I’d say, think about that: find traits that you like and emulate them.  Just to summarize, I have put up all the thoughts for the weekend and I’d like to remind you what they are again:
 

  • A little bit of slope makes up for a lot of Y-intercept
  • Fear is more dangerous than evil
  • Simplicity
  • Scar tissue makes relationships wear out
  • The most important component of evolution is death
  • The reasonable person principle
  • Do your disasters make you weaker or stronger?
  • Mental agility
  • For major (non-technical) decisions, trust your gut
  • Can you choose your personality?

To close out the class, I’d just like to say, I know you all worked really really hard in this class–sorry how hard you had to work.  If I had it my way, it wouldn’t be quite as much work.  But hopefully, at the end of the day, you will have learned enough to at least mostly compensate you for all the time you put in.  In fact, I’ll stop, wish you a good weekend and see you at the exam on Monday morning.