何处是归途？ 长亭更短亭

平林漠漠烟如织，寒山一带伤心碧。
暝色入高楼，有人楼上愁。
玉阶空伫立，宿鸟归飞急，何处是归程？
长亭更短亭。

 

 

抒发完了忧伤的情绪，还是得回过头来，再接着静下心来做自己的东西。

有时回头想想，人生真的还挺辛苦的，一份辛苦一份收获，完全没有不易之财啊。

 

所以看清楚自己的方向很重要。 集中精力， 加油

poet — I Like For You To Be Still – Pablo Neruda

I Like For You To Be Still – Pablo Neruda

 

.

I like for you to be still
It is as though you are absent
And you hear me from far away
And my voice does not touch you
It seems as though your eyes had flown away
And it seems that a kiss had sealed your mouth
As all things are filled with my soul
You emerge from the things
Filled with my soul
You are like my soul
A butterfly of dream
And you are like the word: Melancholy

I like for you to be still
And you seem far away
It sounds as though you are lamenting
A butterfly cooing like a dove
And you hear me from far away
And my voice does not reach you
Let me come to be still in your silence
And let me talk to you with your silence
That is bright as a lamp
Simple, as a ring
You are like the night
With its stillness and constellations
Your silence is that of a star
As remote and candid

I like for you to be still
It is as though you are absent
Distant and full of sorrow
So you would’ve died
One word then, One smile is enough
And I’m happy;
Happy that it’s not true

for my 30s self

Hi, my future self

 I know I am fully responsible for what you have, if things are not so good and you are in a mess, I deeply apologize.

Maybe you are a very determined person, maybe you have a clear goal of your future and are working hard to achieve it. If so, I am so glad, because I am so puzzled and don’t know what to do.

The biggest trouble is that I have lost all faith and hope. The only message I get from my guts is that, I am not satisfied with what I have and I am desperately wishing for a change, be it a different situation, a different job, or a different community. however, I am not heading for that change, I need to take actions rather than just moaning about things. 

For all the bad things I have done to you, I deeply feel sorry. I still figure out something meaning for you, like I figure out the most important thing in life is not money, but the relationship you have, even with your neighbors, parents, etc. I figure out everyone should be confident about himself,  there is no competition in the world, everyone is unique, even though other people don’t appreciation. Your value never change by the society.  I figure out doing is more fun than watching. You should own your life instead of watching other people’s life. 

In those years,  I devote lots of time reading history and sociology, though people might think those things are not relevant to earning money, finding a job or else, I find it particularly interesting and useful. First of all, through these reading, I have gained a vision about how the world is running and how people formed their ideas. Knowledge is power, knowing the social trend and how society or human mind works definitely empowered me to form my individual ideas and behavior more consciously. The learning process is never end, the world is changing and people’s ideas are changing, but I feel more comfortable facing this world after I know how this works.

the next thing I would like to thank myself is that I begin to slow down and enjoy my life. The turning moment is when I begin to travel by myself. The world is so amazing and I know that my life is neglectable, being creative and enjoying what the world has to offer is the main purpose of living. So stop moaning and be more appreciative about the world. 

Though you might blame me for not being so ambitious, I would defense myself by saying, it is more meaningful to find what I am aiming for than blindly following the path and regretting after 40s.  Finding out what is truly meaningful is much more important, even I will end up in poor and homeless, I still will appreciate the world and die peacefully.

 

people will force you to be someone like them, but I wish you could hang on to what you truly believe in.  being single is nothing to be shameful, but the real pain to force yourself to be with someone just for the case of being normal. not being successful is not a shame at all, but the real pain is to be a successful person who your are hate of.

I have strong belief that you will be a good person, I have strong belief that you will achieve great things, and I will hope you to be that one~~

 

 

Let’s work together 

 

 

movie review — 天浴

好久没有看中国电影了， 现在的中国电影，大部分都是以喜剧为主，而且不光是电影，电视剧，综艺节目也是，目的都是为了逗百姓一乐， 不要敢拍反映现实的东西，只能说明中国现在大部分人都只想着自我麻醉，最好什么都不看，只做好自己的工作，然后回家老婆孩子。

电影 天浴， 又带我们回去了那个历史， 那个身不由已的岁月。 上山下乡，本来就是一件很滑稽的事，后来造成了多少人的悲剧，只不过是因为某某人的一句话，更大的问题，是一群沉默的人。 没有人反问一句，也没有人为他们提供各种保证， 大家都利用自己的“关系”，自己的“手段”，自已的“本事”， 让自己对这种事情 immune, 最后牺牲的，就只是那些什么都没有的人。

 

这就是赤裸裸的中国， 没有人为底层的人说句话，中产阶级只愿活下来，其它选择不看不听，沉醉在自己的小世界中， 冷眼看着上层怎么样活活的折磨下层，心里默念，还好不是我，还好不是我。

现在的中国还是一样，没有人为那种运动死去的人做点什么，没有人为正在受苦的底层人民做点什么，我们只想着如何不成为他们。。。

 

这是何等残忍的一个世界， 让人惊心。 人人都在喊这个制度不对，那个制度傻逼，却没有人为这种傻逼的事情做点什么，没有人想着改变， 怕？  还是本来就是冷心的动物？

 

感谢陈冲，留下了这么好的作品，让我们可以看到那个时代悲惨的人民， 感谢陈冲， 

 

Asian’s obsession with beauty

Though it may not be just only asians, but according to my observation, asians are too much obsessed with beauty, as the most convincing signs, the asians has a huge fashion and beauty industry other countries can never compete with.   In asians, 90% women will not go out of their door without any makeup, and lots of fancy makeup  others never see before.

first thing I would like to discuss is

why asians are so obsessed with beauty?

I think it is an irony here, asian women are the most obsessed with beauty, however, asians men don’t even take a care. I think this is true especially in China. I guess Korean men slightly spent more time in beauty than Chinese men.

The reason is so obvious, asian  is still a male dominant society. in this situation, women are not independent or even seek to be independent. Male judge female only by how she looks like and whether she is sexually attractive. Thus. lots of women work quite hard not to earn their lives, but to  make themselves appealing for men.

 

Education, great abilities still are viewed as unattractive  which lots of men are avoiding. Thus, women begin to seek ” cute”, ” innocent”, “stupid”  trying to attract men. It is kind of pity, however, it is the direct result of  large group of male lacking confidence and don’t know how to be a man. so in order to attract those domestic mami boys, women need to appear more stupid.

 

Anyway, if I were allowed to make any conclusion on this distorted society, I would simply blame the highly stubborn and competitive education system deprived young people of any ideas of themselves. We are a sad generation taught only to please others, not ourselves. we are taught to be normal, no different. so when there is some standard going on in the society, we see it as a must, not a choice. Asian women are totally targets of sexual objectification.  how can we break up with this phenomenon?

 

 

 

 

 

what is the danger of obsession with beauty?

obviously,  everyone wants to be beautiful to attract others, from various researches conducted recent years, beauty really helps. Beautiful people have a huge edge not only in relationships, but also in workforce, even everyday routines. However, I would say, after all, the advantage is not that huge, it doesn’t mean, if you are beautiful, you can earn 2 or 3 times over your peers, it’s just a slightly improvement. Besides, in the long run, your career still largely depends on your ability. If you look around and find that successful women or men do not look like victor secret angels or runway models.

 

However, some will argue that beauty will boost one’s confidence, thus bla bla bla. If someone only seek confidence from his outlook but not inside, I would say it is not true confidence. How about when he grow old? does he suddenly lost his confidence?  I think we all need to improve ourselves inside and gradually find the source of confidence from our knowledge, understanding of the world, ability , etc. don’t judge yourself only by your appearance, even others do, we shouldn’t choose to do this.

 

Also, researches has showed that, beautiful people actually are not confidence as we assumed they are. They are more vulnerable than others, and whenever they find some mis perfection, they get very frustrated. also beauty comes with a price. even you are born beautiful, according to the modern standard of beauty, you still need to exercise or starve to keep the figure, put makeup every single day, spend lots of time on the trendy fashion, get good outfits ,etc.. Women typically spend 35000 hours in beauty during their whole life, image how many things we have missed just for looking good.

 

Is there any chance we can get back to be ourselves? 

in the world full of sexual billboards, images and messages, no one can escape that, no matter you are on the road, in the shop or watching TV, you see lots of women trying to make a sexual pose, etc.

A study by University at Buffalo sociologists has found that the portrayal of women in the popular media over the last several decades has become increasingly sexualized, even “pornified.” The same is not true of the portrayal of men.

it is merely due to one fact — sex sells.  also I think women are partly to be blamed for this. While being sexual objectified is bad for the whole women community, some women just take the advantage and sell themselves. Think about the pop star, the models and other women who simply try to get money by sleeping with rich guys.

We’re surrounded by media images for such a large portion of our daily lives, it’s almost impossible to escape from it. We get the majority of our information today through media, be it music, tv, the internet, advertising or magazines, so it really is incredibly important for us as a society to think about the messages we receive from the media critically. On a personal level, I find the phrase ‘you can’t be what you can’t see’ to ring true for so many girls and women today. If you repeatedly see women presented as sexual objects and not as leaders in a variety of roles and careers, it can be difficult to aspire to leadership positions as a woman. Only around 15% of our Dail representatives are women.

 

this phenomenon is the result of capitalism,  medias and corporation simply put money over the responsibility. if this would go on forever, will we finally get back to a society in which women only be pure beautiful while men make the bread and butter?

 

For society, it is not what I can turn away, and if some girl like to be sexual and appealing and nothing else, I respect their choice. If men choose wife and girlfriends barely on this standard, I respect them.

 

How am I going to choose for my life? 

For me, I will not allow myself trapped in this tragic life as my sister and mother. I will not surround myself with all the gossip about celebrities and waste my time on being sexy. I will devote more time on doing my career and business, I will try to be an old style good girl and be independent of myself. I will be increasing my intelligence instead focus on what I am wearing.

In a word, I want to live for myself,  without pay any attention to what others think of me. Yeah, I am not good enough,  but I will earn every cents by myself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jamie’s defense

Today, another group member has defensed and is going up to another phase of her life.

first I am quite impressed by how much improvement she has done during the last month, it is the most strenuous month I have seen her doing all the job, how much improvement she has made during the time frame

Then I have to admit with the kind of work, it also depends on years of struggle and learn to how to deliver and discuss about the things. You can not just judge people on what they have shown, but also notice the skills they acquired to do the things.  No success can be achieved overnight

third, I have to learn from her, begin to prepare for my own defense and graduation, which would hopefully coming next year

 

good communication , accumulate every word you are going to say, and fight~

why are we indifferent from anything happen in our daily life?

It sounds so sad, there are continuous violence everywhere in china. The tension between citizens and government is so fierce that when a little uncomfortable emotion could lead the way to violence. 

rentless driving, knife,  murder, violence, what has happened to lead china the way it is today? I can hardly recognize the nation, even though the thousands years of culture  is to behavior properly. 

I think the deep question is the insecurity and lack of communication from top to down. As an ordinary citizen in china, we have nothing,  no power in anything, which naturally lead to a feeling of insecure.  When justice fails us, we have noway to get around.

However, I have to admit that the powerless feeling everyone experience in the world. No matter how rich or powerful you are, there is always something you can’t do about, like the inequality you feel, the lack of justice, and lack of employment opportunity.

First of all, we have to admit that the society has its own rules and there is little thing we can do about it.  Yes, devoting whole your life, you could improve one aspect of the society, but is it worth the trial?

I would say, instead of doing something totally trivial, I would rather devote my life to something meaningful. Technology is the best way to go, it is fun and it is intellectually challenging. just don’t treat it as a way to make money

second, care less about what others are doing and what the society is doing. They are far more stupid than what you think. I totally admire those who devote all their life to help the society and the world. however, it takes a lot of patients to do that, and inevitably you will be mistaken and attacked. It requires lots of strength to overdo that.

third, put your effort and energy into making something, not observing others living the life. here is the link for the viral youtube video about looking up

 

use the internet and social media more effectively, try not being sunk by them is the key to survive in the 21 century.