What is tragedy and why we are so obsessed with it?

On Green Library’s entrance, there is a statue of Victor Huge.  I was pretty young when first read his famous novel “Les Misérables”. It struck me so hardly that I was depressed for a long time. How could life be so tragic without any light of hope?

Rodin’s Victor Hugo Sculpture

As I grow up, all the fairy tales I used to believe in collapse and I realize, we don’t need to live in Hugo’s time to experience tragedy. It is just everywhere and for everyone. When you are in lower class, you face the misery depicted in Hugo’s novels, hopeless struggles to simply survive in the dirty world. When you are upper class, you experience the situations in Leo Tolstoy,  shallow, directionless, and indulge with meaningless luxury without ways to get out.  I find out I seldom see people who are genuine happy and content, but instead, the majority I met are anxious and suffered in one kind or another.

But we seem to like that. I used to wonder, why the ancient Greeks love tragedies instead comedies, why all the great literature is all about suffering, why painters and movie produces are tireless in depicting suffering. Are we really obsessed with tragedy?

Arthur Schopenhauer gives us an explanation, because of our unique sensation. Everything that obstructs, crosses, or opposes our will, and thus everything unpleasant and painful is felt by us immediately, at once, and very plainly. Just as we don’t feel the health of our whole body, but only the small spot where the shoe pinches, so we do not think of all our affairs that are going on perfectly well, but only of some insignificant trifle that annoys us.

In that sense, we are cursed to be miserable, we are living for the experience of suffering. Still, not only most of life is suffering, we like to watch suffering, fabricate it or image it through art. Why?

Maybe compared with comedy, compared with pleasure, tragedy is more of life. Most of the tragedy in literature is clash of human wills with fate. It involves a long struggle for the hero to take over his life, make his own decision and aspire for something great. It fails, but it is also inspiring. That is why we love tragedy. It ultimately shows, we as human beings, are trying, deliberately exercising our will power, even realizing the failure.In the 5th century B.C.E.,the classical Greek writers thought that facing tragedy was a healthy and necessary anecdote to human foolishness. It taught humans to know themselves. From my personal experience, I feel tragedy helps purify my soul and arouses the empathy for others.

Isn’t that better than passively accept everything and being content?

非洲故事之———–关于爱

（一）

有一天晚上吃多了，胃不舒服所以不得已， 半夜只能住在外面看星星。迎面走过来一个男人，说旁边有一个酒吧，喝点whisky对胃病很有好处，遂跟随他一起去喝点酒。

一起杂七杂八的谈了很多，他突然问了一个单身女人永远会被问的问题— 为什么还单身着。
我耸了耸肩，只能回答了真相，因为长得不好看。

他听后，很惊讶得感叹了一句—- 原来女人之间还有分别啊！其它女人有的，你不是都有嘛？

我突然意识到，是啊！哪里有这么大的分别呢？恋爱中的犀牛一句很经典的台词：

过分夸大一个女人和另一个女人之间的差别是一切不如意的根源

为什么我们总是放肆地夸大人与人之间的区别呢？探究到底，也许正是我们的自大，或者从另一个角度是自卑，非得搞得自己与众不同，即使明知道人与人的共同点远远超过其不同点时，也想得方设法的夸大细微的差别，比如种族，背景，收入，身高，外表等等， 使得自己有立足之地。

承认自己是一个一般的人类，承认大家都差不多， 有这么难嘛？ 同样，选择一个一般的人，也有这么困难嘛？

最近在读Sartre的书，很赞同他的观点， feelings develops through actions （找不到原句，但存在主义，exist before essence, 差不多都是这种观点）. 人与人之间的分别，不是他们本身的分别，而只在于，当你跟他们一起经历过很多事情后，因为有这么多共同的人生交集，他们才显得特别。

希望每个人积极地去爱，而不是消极的等待所谓唯一的人出现。

（二）

非洲很多国家都不是一夫一妻制，所以有三到四个妻子是很正常的事情。我经常被问： would you like to be my second/ third / fourth wife?

一般在一夫一妻制的环境下的人，都会有一个疑问—— 你这么多妻子不会吵架嘛？不会吃醋嘛？不会很麻烦嘛？

估计这跟大量的后宫戏啊，大红灯笼高高挂之类的电影有关，这些作品会让我们觉得，一夫一妻制才是正确的，因为人都有嫉妒心，都想独占另一半。如果无法独占，那就是痛苦的深渊，促使我们想尽办法去伤害分享爱人的人。

当我拿这些问题问那些男人时，他们的回答是—– 从来没有听说过任何这种事情 ，为什么要吵架呢？

这个问题很难去客观辩别，因为极有可能人的行为就是会自动的符全social norm, 所以他们认为这样的制度是正常的，故而也不会有任何的争吵，嫉妒。我们认为我们的制度是正常的，所以才认为夫妻间忠诚很重要，共享是一种无法理解的状态。用我们的眼光看一夫多妻制，自然会出现认为其中必然很多冲突。

但不同的存在，甚至让我们意识到，我们所坚信的东西，其实很大程度不是绝对真理。我听到很多女孩子在讲自己找另一半的标准，就是一定要可靠，不出轨。她们把这一条看得过分的重要，甚至仅为了这一条标准，牺牲了自己太多其它的真实的感受。

长得帅的，不能找，因为不可靠 。学艺术的，不能找，因为不可靠。 太有钱的，不能找，因为不可靠 。。。所以要找一些，很单纯，很木讷的男人，因为可靠。。。。

难道她们不介意，可靠不正是因为这些男人不吸引人嘛？为何找一个不吸引其它女人的人呢？

退一步讲，选择一个爱的人，即使只在一起一阵子，或者即使他又爱着别人，又有何不可呢？

像非洲人做的一样，两个人在一起的时间，永远只有两个人。而他其它的时间在干什么，又何必过问呢？

（三）

计划生育，对我们国家的影响，很难说得明白。至少对于我个人来说，对我影响最大的，就是这种对生育各种很经济的看法。少生优生，重点培养，说到底，是一种投资策略，认为这样最后能培养出优秀的人才， 相比于原先培养一群单纯的劳动力的策略，回报率要高多了。当然我不知道这种utilitarianism 如此深入是由于资本主义的影响，还是单纯的计划生育的宣传。至少，我身边很多朋友一问起要不要生孩子，生多少，往往给的理由都是，教育成本啊，资源分配，或者对自身的影响之类的。

越穷越生，是因为穷人笨，或者没有很好的培养资源，只好靠人多劳动力大。这种行为是很不负责任的，bla bla bla….从解释为什么穷人多生，也是一种很经济的角度，似乎每个人都在算生多少能回报最高，由此带出一种歧视,认为人穷多生是很没有长远眼光的。可是事实呢？

非洲可以说是人口增长最快的地区了，人口也是爆炸性的增长，但经济完全跟不上人口的增长，所以在路上经常看到很小的孩子连衣服，鞋子都穿不上，还得照顾一个更小的孩子。但我看到的，是父母对孩子那种抑制不住的喜爱。我去的时候算他们的冬天，其实我只穿t shirt就行了。可能他们对温度的感受不一样，在城市路上看到很多父母把孩子包得严严实实的，把棉帽子都戴上了，生怕冻着了，牵着他们手去上学。

在墨西哥很偏的地方也碰到一次专门庆祝小孩的festival,所以的孩子都打扮的相当的可爱，用车载着在小城里绕来绕去的。

对他们来说，生孩子是很快乐的事情，一个生命的降临是多么令人愉悦的啊， 剩下的成长培养也是很自然的。有一个非洲的男人问我，他弟弟娶了一个中国女人， 在北京生活，然后一直没有孩子，导致他们同村的人都不能理解，他甚至要求他弟弟离婚回到肯尼亚娶妻生孩子。我很难跟他解释，也许他的中国弟媳在担心北京的奶粉贵，学区房贵，孩子输在起跑线上等等。

我总是觉得，我们想象出了太多的责任，并被这些想象中的责任给压垮了。我倒觉得，生孩子或者 不生孩子，都应该是一种很自私的行为。 如果你喜欢小孩，那就生，基本养得起就多生。如果不喜欢，就不生。 剩下的事情， 并不是能预测到的。

而且我也并不觉得对非洲需要提倡计划生育之类的，等经济发展了， 个人能发展的空间大了，很多人都会放弃生育，留给个人更多的自由空间。

总之，我希望有一天，生育真正能成为一个私人的自由，不必太计较孩子的成长与成材，而更多的是问一句， 你是不是爱孩子，是不是愿意跟孩子相处。

The Road to Character —–what do you want your eulogy to say?

What doth it profit a man, to gain the whole world, and lose his own soul

                                                                                          —-  Mark 8:36

I recently read two books by the New York Times famous columnist, David Brooks. I believe lots of people have read or even fans of his writing, in which he shows a keen eye for various social phenomenons and the unparalleled talent to analyze and explain those to the general public.

David Brooks

I guess the inspiration of writing this book may be coming from his frustration of the ever shallow society. As he has claimed on his book tour, he has a natural disposition towards shallowness. The technology and life quality are both progressing, but unfortunately, the morality has degraded.

In his opinion, the young generation are so obsessed with the Adam I or resume virtue, which is the skills helping to make the fat pay check, getting a good position in job market. But we ignore another quality, the Adam II, or the eulogy virtue, which are the true characters.  Who am I really? Besides of all the skills and positions, what do I really look like? or what kind of person do I want to be?

Instead of vaguely talking about characters, in his book, “The Road to Character “, David Brooks tells ten stories of famous historic figure. Through their stories, we can see how they search, find and cultivate their characters. Those stories are both fascinating and well written.

However, does it matter? Can we be sufficient to live a hedonistic life?

Luckily, someone can, but someone can’t. I don’t want to pose any judgement on others’ lives,especially nowadays, we are provided with abundance entertainment. It’s so much easier and cheap to entertain yourself through music, movies, food, travel, party, games, sports, etc.  We even don’t spend time with ourselves so it is hard to feel any void in ourselves. In contrast, suffering, self abasement, spiritual calling and meaning become absurd.  It is even harder to live a meaningful life in such a self absorbed society.

However, I am still deeply touched by these stories, especially Augustine and George Eliot. I admire their constant efforts to  peruse their souls, without any material rewards. I guess I will do the same, so that when my death comes, I would truly rest in peace and tell myself —- I have lived a good life.

写在天津爆炸事故之后

我小时候，经常半夜被电话铃吵醒，然后就听到爸爸叮叮当当的急忙爬起来出门。 肯定又是工厂出事了，哪个工人又被机器伤了腿伤了胳脖这类的。处理的方法很简单，送其去医院，赔点钱，然后再找个新的工人。

我去过工厂，看到过操作环境的恶劣，就问为什么不增加保护措施，更换好的设备，少点过度加班之类。 答案很简单，从经济角度考虑根本不划算。换个设备要多少钱， 但赔个工人才多少钱。就像 Fight Club中Norton关于车要不要召回中说那样，

A new car built by my company leaves somewhere traveling at 60 mph. The rear differential locks up. The car crashes and burns with everyone trapped inside. Now, should we initiate a recall? Take the number of vehicles in the field, A, multiply by the probable rate of failure, B, multiply by the average out-of-court settlement, C. A times B times C equals X. If X is less than the cost of a recall, we don’t do one.

Business就是这样，什么人是无价的之类的，只有在ethic课堂上会这么说，现实中都有明确的标价。我爸爸明显是知道，一条胳膊，一条腿，甚至于一个民工的价格的。

如果出了大事故怎么办？

有一次附近的化工厂爆炸， 特大事故，还有我爸爸的一个朋友跑了出来，但严重烧伤。 可又能怎么呢？别忘记了，这是有限责任公司，政府帮忙赔点钱，就到此结束了。

公司，虽然号称“法人”， 但实际上与个人是完全不平等。要让企业主动的注重安全，是不可能的。因为对于他们来说，只有关心帐面上的数字而已。更不要说在中国是hype competitive, 你增加一点点成本，就竞争不过其它的对手，结局只能是退出市场。

问题在于，我们的政府需少管理。所有的政策，都执行不利。

人都是有良心的，有谁不希望做一个好人，有谁想天天见到家属在自己家里哭呢？没有合理的执法，做好人唯一的结局，就只是出局而已。如果逼每个市场竞争的人都遵守游戏规则，就会省去很多不必要的问题。

我有一段时间看了好多空难的纪录片，每一次都是很让人悲伤。但是，就是一次次的空难，才把在飞机设计，维护以及管理中一个个没有重视的问题都暴露出来，让航空一步步的完善。 我有时很为这么多死去的人悲伤，但这就是我们这种物种发展的模式，一次次的错误一次次的改善。很不幸的事， 没有一件事情，是从设计开始就是完美的，也没有一个制度，是不从灾难中反思出来的。只能这样， 一步一步的艰难向前走着。

希望我们的国家越来越好。

Fate and Free Will

Fate is nothing but the deeds committed in a prior state of existence.

                                                                      –Ralph Waldo Emerson

Usually in life, lots of my efforts doesn’t lead to any expected results, undoubtedly it frustrates me and makes me feel hopeless . In that situation, my mom always comforts me by claiming —– It’s all about fate, you can’t do anything about it ( 这都是命).

As an atheist, I used to totally reject the notion of fate or destiny. Instead, I believe in free will, I believe in my ability to drive my life and the future is only determined by my actions.

However, along my course of life, I begin to have another idea of what fate is really is. Fate is not some super power guiding your life. It is the a priori conditions that you are born into, including,  your race, the social conditions, your parents and family background, your looks, and your abilities.

The slogan, Nothing is impossible,  obviously is exaggerating, but the other extreme, which means that you are doomed, or destined, is also far from the truth. Still, there leaves plenty of paths you can choose to live your life.

In that sense, we can turn to free will, to choose what you like or dislike. However, even there still exist controversy about existing of free will, I tend to believe that as human beings, we do have some autonomy, to escape the influence from our basic desires. The life directed by basic desires is vanity.

Within my own born conditions, I simply wish I could lead my life with some spirits or morality. Whether or not it can be done, I will accept my fate after all the efforts. Like famous ancient Greek tragedy, what makes it inspiring is the hero struggling with destine.

Oedipus

The end of power and what’s next

In the 21st century, power is easier to get, harder to use , and easier to lose

— Moises Naim, The End of Power

Book– The end of Power

Years of glancing various Chinese online platforms, I have one impression — more and more young people are lamenting about the extremely stratified society. It seems that in China, even if you are smart and dedicated, your chance of having a good life is so dim compared with people who are born in wealthy family.

Social stratification is not a new phenomenon, actually it is taken for granted for thousands of years. However, since communist revolution gives its people a false illusion that everyone gets the equal share ( in fact, we have one period of socialism) , people find its hard to re justify the inequality. Not to mention, most of the new rich people assemble huge wealth simply through corruption.

But the silver lining is —- as this time, the power is decaying. Even the most powerful people in the world, find the difficult to execute the power. The key elements which make this happen are More, Mobility and Mentality.  To illustrate the concept, there are lots of detailed cases, statistics, and discussion. The best example might be the information technology. The companies who are currently dominating could be out of business quite soon.

The positive consequence for the decay of power is more freedom in society, more options for voters, more social organization, more ideas and creativity, more competitions and thus better quality for customers, etc . However, there is also some drawbacks. The lack of power in political system makes changes or long term projects hard to happen. It also facilitates lots of extreme groups simply to attract public attention. Meanwhile, the ability to cooperate and address big problems like climate change, becomes weaken as well. For business sections, we see more and more companies desperately lower the price to maintain the competition, which is often referred as ruinous competition.  I always believe ” free lunch ” model in IT companies is a bad business strategy in long term.

Anyway, the book will change our mindset about lots of traditional thinking which is so deeply rooted in our minds. As for the future, it will always complex, flexible and full of opportunity. Opposite to lots of my Chinese peers, I actually believe we will have more opportunities and enjoy more mobility. The only thing we need to do is not settling for traditional industry and looking out for opportunities with open mind.

Movie : Everybody’s Fine — How damaging over parenting would be

I got emotional while watching at this movie. As like all the children in the movie, I lied a lot to my parents, and still I believe– I did it with good intention.

over parenting  is all about love

Love, in my opinion, is always beyond human’s control. We “fall” in love, but not “plan” into love.  There is no rational existing in love even as parental love. With love, there is always a strong tendency to possession, just as Lucretia writes in on the nature of things

…… for in the very moment of possession the passion of lovers ebbs and flows with undetermined current, nor are they sure what first to enjoy with eyes or hands. What they have grasped, they closely press and cause pain to the body, and often fasten their teeth in the lips, and dash mouth against mouth in kissing, because their pleasure is not unalloyed, and there are secret stings which spur them to hurt even the very thing, be it what it may, whence arise those germs of madness. But Venus lightly breaks the force of these pains in love, and fond pleasure mingled with them sets a curb upon their teeth. For therein there is hope that from the same body, whence comes the source of their flame, the fire may in turn be quenched.and satiety never comes. Yet nature protests that all this happens just the other way; and this is the one thing, whereof the more and more we  have, the more does our heart burn with the cursed desire…..

Love is an addiction for the one who loves and an extreme pressure for the one who is loved. For parents, it’s just because of love that they are willing to sacrifice everything they have, always put an eye on the children and wish so hard the children would be good. That is exactly the burden lots of children can’t bear. Eventually, it separates them apart.

High expectations on children 

Maybe the pushing parents style is not so typical in United States, it is quite common in China. All the parents in China are more or less like tiger moms or tiger dads,  who, after having kids, are so committed to live their lives for the kids. They work too hard, pay high tuition and spend all the energy to cultivate the kids to a successful person. By success, it always points to professions like doctors, lawyers, engineers, artists, etc.

However, with all parents wishing kids to be successful, in the society, only a few people could actually achieve that kind of success. Lots of people would end up being mediocre. Then how do we face all the high expectations by our parents? How do we face all the sacrifice they made on us?

This forces lots of people to lie, even as in the movie, suicide.

Call the end of over parenting

It’s time to end this madness. Stop directing every drop of energy to the children. As parents,  you should have your own lives, your own dreams, your private time, whenever, for yourselves. Because in that way, everything else would be fine.

Andy Warhol and his playfulness

I recently read a book by Andy Warhol, “The Philosophy of Andy Warhol”,  in which Andy Warhol murmurs lots of things coming into his mind. Don’t be mistaken by the title, looking for some life advise or any deep thoughts, in fact, the book doesn’t talk anything serious. This is such a typical Andy Warhol.

Andy Warhol is always referred to as a commercial artist, which sounds quite an odd title. Because people used to think art as deep, profound. Usually, artists should be eccentric, thoughtful, disdain public tastes,  and in addition, his work shouldn’t be accepted and enjoy commercial success in his life time. However, Andy Warhol isn’t that kind of artist. He likes glamour, he likes celebrities, he likes publicity, he likes making money, in fact, he is a quite successful entrepreneur. Just because of all this, he got critics like being shallow, commercial, etc.

But in his words. ” So what?”

I think this stereotype is due to the fact that art is used to be only enjoyed by royalty and aristocracy. As a social code to separate up class to the majority, the art they choose is very refined and delicate. However, with the decay of hierarchy, Andy Warhol brings art to the majority, to the ordinary people so everyone could enjoy.

He could  do a video of himself eating burger. He could film someone sleeping for 40 minutes. Every aspect of ordinary life could turn into a subject of art.

Andy Warhol’s film Sleep

In fact, from his book, he really can find something interesting in mundane everyday routine. That is exactly what we need to be an interesting person.

Maybe Andy Warhol has ultimately changed our society so  much that nowadays, we sometimes like the shallowness, like glamour and like to be viewed as eccentric . But still , there are tons of people in the world tend to take things too seriously, They worship spirits,  intelligence, and wish to find purpose in every movement.

I am not against that. But if you can’t,  I would like to recommend you to Andy Warhol’s philosophy—shrug and say ” So what?”

“Sometimes people let the same problem make them miserable for years when they could just say, “So what.”
“My mother didn’t love me.” So what.
“My husband won’t ball me. So what.
“I’m a success but I’m still alone.” So what.
I don’t know how I made it through all the years before I learned how to do that trick. It took a long time for me to learn it, but once you do, you never forget.”
——-Andy Warhol

Being single is the new black

Last few days, one of my friend shared with me an article about what is the problem of single people. At that time, I was so involved in my passport issue, so don’t have time to answer it. So I write today to speak out for my opinion of being single.

Obviously, we still have stigma about single people.  We believe that being single is miserable, lonely people are suffering and crying every night. We are trying to help them, trying to find out why they can’t be social and find their partners. Are they lacking social skills? Do they have some mental problems?  Do they lack sexual attraction?

I totally appreciate my friend’s sympathy, but I feel being single is totally normal. It is not only me who spend all the time by myself, in fact, in modern developed world, being single is becoming the mainstream.

However, I am not saying that people don’t want social connections, or never fancy about romantic relationship. It is simply because after the fall of community, the world become extremely separated and hard for everyone to foster a long term relationship.

For example, in Cuba, people still live in small circle and get to know each other quite well. At night, most of people will go out and social with others. However, in our time, we are too exhausted working and spend our leisure time online. Besides, we mobilize much more and frequently than our ancestors. In a word,  it’s too easier to loose connections and too hard to foster ones.

So,  being single may be not people’s intention, but become the natural consequence of our civilization. Instead of stigmatizing the singles,   we need to change mindset and ask this question —– what the hell with those married people? >_<

非洲故事之—–为什么美丽应该是男人的责任

去非洲safari时，有一个印象特别深刻，就是为什么在动物界，都是雄性比较漂亮, 雌性长得都很一般，而在人类，却是相反？

我想这个问题提问就得很小心，首先很多人会质疑，漂亮是主观的感受，假定我们把漂亮定义为把良好的基因用外表显示，如色彩，形态，那无疑很多动物都是雄性比较亮眼。如果漂亮是仅在性吸引力，那就很难中性的评判，但至少动物界的雌性不像人类的女性那样花这么长的时间追求美丽。  再者，人类中真的是女性比男性好看呢？

其实 古希腊一直以为年轻男性的身体是最美的，而女性则根本不美的，他们的雕塑都大都是男性的身体， 而且年长的贵族男性也流行交往青少年男性。可能，从另一个物种的角度 看人类，会觉得，人类的男性比女性美。

所以正确提这个问题的方式应该是—– 为什么在人类中，女性花更多的时间在美上， 甚至外表成为女性唯一的竞争力，而男性则完全不是呢？

我个人觉得，女性花时间精力在外表上，是很没有逻辑的，而其它雌性动物的生存决策，反而是正确的。

首先，在没有怀孕与抚育后代的压力下，雄性主要动力就是尽多的播种，性交更多的雌性，而且性交的成本对男性也太低了，所以他们对单个雌性的要求其实很低，是个女的就成，追求的主要是数量，而不是质量。 如果你让一个男性做选择， 一生只跟一个10分的女性，还是跟100个6分的，我估计绝大部分都会选择后者。 如果没有道德法律， 社会又很自由的话，再漂亮的女性也不能让她的伴侣不出轨。 这是天性。 而任何长得再难看的女性，如果对性开放的话，都得很顺利的得到男性， 根本不需要花这么多时间搞这么漂亮。而且女性因为一生能选择的伴侣很少，所以对男性更加挑剔。长得像头猪的男人去约炮，估计不可能有女性去搭理。

其次，女性能性交的时间很短，美丽能维持的时间也短。本来从有性意识到停经的时间就比男性短，再加上怀孕与养小孩有大量的时间对性根本没有兴趣，长得再漂亮也抵不过保质期过短。但男性就不同了，40岁50岁都可以维持到很有性吸引力，所以男性追求外表的吸引力，更显得有价值。

我想这就是在动物界，都是雄性外表好看，而显有相反的例子。

人类的问题在于， 很长的一段历史时间中，资源太匮乏，男权主导， 而生存又不是依靠男性身体的强壮。 女性没有独立的经济来源，无法独立养孩子，而得依靠有实力的男性。所以标准转向男性拥有的资源，而不是仅看他本身的基因。

但男性对女性长相的要求，完全就是男权社会，女性根本没有任何其它的可提供的资源，只能用长相这一条件了。假使女性有其它的社会资源，比如是出身皇家富族啊，根本不必长得好看，就可以嫁得很好。请参看历史真实的清朝后宫照。。。。。

无论怎么看，我都觉得人类女性花这么多时间在美丽上，都是因为男权社会地位低下导致的。说爱美是女人的天性这种话，我真的完全不觉得。 Narcissist 还是男神呢， 动物界的其它物种都是雄性爱美啊，所以男人爱美才是天性嘛，女性爱美估计以前是被迫，现代则是一方面因为观念总是很难改，另一方面就是广告洗脑的。

未来假设男女会越来越平等，性越来越开放，一夫一妻婚姻制度也会因为不符合人性慢慢被淘汰，所以我想，未来应该是男性负责美貎，而女性负责赚钱养孩子的时代吧。

反正我觉得，现代的社会，女人再花时间精力仅仅为了外表，就真的太落伍了。因为婚姻制度明显已经破产了，想依靠年轻时的长相嫁人然后一生衣食无忧已经做不太到了，嫁富豪倒是很还算划算，离婚至少能分到钱，但竞争压力太大，得天生长得非常好又运气不错。而所谓的美貎在职场上的优 势，我个人觉得还是夸大的成分过多。 大部分女性本身就都很漂亮，再一味的投入精力，边际效应真的不太。

如果我分析不错的话，那未来应该很美好啊。