I used to have the habit of writing down what I wish to achieve at the beginning of each year, so called ” New Year Resolution”. However, I hesitated to do it this year, simply due to all the past failure experience. New year resolution never works for me, whatever I wish myself to accomplish, I turned back to my old habits long before February, with a slight feeling of guilty.
Why? Why behavior change is so hard for me?
The first reason coming to my mind is willpower. Maybe I just don’t have the willpower to do this. However, willpower is rather a myth. Where is willpower coming from? How does it work? According to the following book, willpower can be trained like muscle, which means the more your practice self control, the stronger your ability to resist temptation. Also, the willpower of each person is limited, so in another sense, we need to prioritize.
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/11104933-willpower
Recently I read about my favorite composer, Tchaikovsky. We all know that composing music is highly creative, depending on random inspirations, so we expect those artists don’t work like bourgeois, having fixed 9-5 work schedule. However, Tchaikovsky forced himself to sit and compose every morning, whether or not he has the feeling to compose. So he is few composers who has such a large volume, wide span and with high quality.
So does it apply to lots of great writers. It seems that even creation can be made through .
Thus, I need to forget about my graduate life style and instead have a regular time schedule for work.
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The second thing I can think of is desire. Maybe all the things listed on my new year’s resolution, like exercise, reading books, learning French, practicing piano, are not my interest. So Why doing all of these things?
Some are good for my health, some are simply to show off or coerced by the society. As a woman, I am supposed to be able to interesting, fun, look fabulous, artistic, knowledgeable etc. But where is the time and willpower from?
Maybe, if I am not planning to get involved in any relationships, then it is time to let all those bullshit go.
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In behavior level, I do spend too much time online, reading all sorts of articles and watching too much TV. So the new year, I will limited my time online to only one hour per day. Instead, spending more time reading books.
Essay is much easier to write than books. Writing an essay is more or less expressing one point regarding to the topic, while writing a book is about a thorough survey about this topic. So why reading those articles?
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It is easier said than done, especially true for adult behavior changes. Inspired by this book, I think to achieve my new year’s resolution, I actually need to make a thorough life change.
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/22544758-triggers?from_search=true&search_version=service
To make my new year resolution happens, I need to create a supporting environment and a feedback system.
Working in a open space, like library.
Writing diary documenting my activities each day.
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Anyway, 2016 will be a challenging year, and I need to take responsibility for my life.
Welcome to ME 